I'm kinda surprised nobody's used the Johnny Cash song "Hey Porter" (snippet here) to an ode to Joey Porter, who has been tearing it up in the playoffs. There's a bunch of songs out there, including this crazy one about someone mispronouncing Troy Polamalu's name. (Link in post, I don't like posting links directly to songs.)
Anyway, "Hey Porter" is a simple song and should be easy to come up with some verses:
Hey Porter, hey porter Would you sack Hasselback again Alexander's coming up the middle And needs to be put on his head ...