TL;DR: Do you have to wear your ignorance like a badge of honor? Read the fucking article or go home.
Stand/drive to the right: You are not the only person in the universe. Other people have needs different than yours. Be aware of the world around you, move over jerky.
Driving fucked up: I've done this more times than I'd care to admit (a long, long time ago, complete idiot), but the consequences just aren't worth it.