November 16, 2004

Join with the creationists!

School mandates alternate evolution theory - Obviously telling people that the meaning of ‘theory’ has been overloaded by society isn’t working – no, evolution isn’t on a par with your ideas about how the gay agenda is tearing down America. So the best tactic is to join them!

I can hear you now: "Chris, have you flipped your effing lid?" Maybe. But I don't mean actually espouse creationism. I mean compete with it. It's a marketplace of ideas, right? So put out your own theories about how the universe, the earth and humans were created! Best to do so either through an existing church or through a church you develop yourself. If they complain your fledgling religion is too young, counter loudly and often with charges of 'censorship', 'government suppression of religion', 'ageism', or (a new one) 'senseism', which is discrimination against people who have ideas that make no sense.

One key to getting your idea accepted by the school is scholarly work. So publish a series of articles on your website about your theory, and try to get your followers to link to you and/or contribute to the discussion groups so you can show popular acceptance. Be sure to take a friendly, down-to-earth tone so as not to alienate the non-scientific among us. And while it's not a good idea to dwell on conspiracy theories, do make indirect suggestions about how you've struggled against "the establishment" to get your work recognized and published. Don't be shy to bring in your GPA here as evidence!

There's lots more to contribute here -- feel free! -- but the important thing is to keep your eye on the prize: it's all about the children!

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